23 lessons learned in 23 years of living

1. Your parents have always been right (almost), especially your mom.
2. Your GPA doesn't tell how smart you are. There is a world beyond those fake numbers.
3. Life isn't fair. So suck it up. However, that doesn't mean if one door closes, another won't open. Just keep looking out for opportunities.
4. Procrastination is not cool and its the best way of self sabotage.
5. It's alright to hopelessly love someone.
6. It's alright if someone breaks your heart. It teaches you a lot about yourself. It teaches you about a million of emotions you could feel, it shows you how strong a person you are and it helps you find the real you.
7. Most of the times you're not in love, you are in love with the idea of love.
8. You can find yourself alone amongst a group of friends , but then that's okay too. That  means you need sometime for yourself.
9. It's alright to learn a lesson the harder way and It's completely fine to cry. It doesn't mean you're weak. It's a sign of strength.
10. You're strong and that's why you have survived so far.
11. People will leave you. That's how it is! Don't cry over it.
12. It's okay to be SCARED but that shouldn't stop you from trying new things.
13. Do not regret any choice you have ever made, it's something you wanted at that instant, in that moment. Learn from it , don't regret.
14. It's alright to kiss a stranger.
15. Reading and travelling are mandatory.
16. Staying in touch with high school friends won't be difficult if you really want to stay in touch.
17. Living with friends is beautiful but living alone is awesome. No pants. Hell yeah! 
18. Eat whatever you want to and as much as you want to. Let's do justice to our taste buds. Dieting is over rated. Having said that, exercising is important too or just go for a run. No one wants to die of high cholesterol at the age of 40.
19. Netflix will be there for you always.
20. You will not see your best friend everyday but you will know you can call that person at 2 a.m and cry and they will patiently listen to you the hundredth time about the guy who broke your heart, about the job you don't like or how life has been sucking blood out of you.
21. Your teenage poetry isn't gonna get you famous but keep on writing.
22. It's never too late to change your majors or interests. Be strong enough to do what you really want to do.
23. Nothing lasts forever but then Life is too short to be unhappy.

Poetry

So I was sitting on my couch, watching the rain falling on my window pane and surfing on internet when I came across a zillion of thoughts of how I love poetry. It was within a microsecond that all my technical thoughts shifted from how to create an artificial blood vessel to how beautiful a writer Shakespeare is. How brain works is crazy, isn't it? In a microsecond cutting through a  myriad memories and current assignment ideas, my brain recalled a poem about Lucy, violet, moss , which I had read back when I was 11 or 12 years old in my English textbook. What I was surprised at was that how it was deep rooted inside my head. Since I remembered a few words from the poem, I googled them and Bam!! There it was!! 'She dwelt among the untrodden ways' by William Shakespeare.

I hesitated to read it for a second. It was like opening of a chapter from childhood where those memories warm you up from inside, but they also tear you apart. Poetry is the overflow of powerful feelings that have been originated from emotion recollected in tranquility. I wanted to share this poem with everyone. Here it goes-

            SHE dwelt among the untrodden ways

            Beside the springs of Dove,

          A Maid whom there were none to praise

            And very few to love:

          A violet by a mossy stone

            Half hidden from the eye!

          --Fair as a star, when only one

            Is shining in the sky.

          She lived unknown, and few could know

            When Lucy ceased to be;                                  

          But she is in her grave, and, oh,

             The difference to me!

A blizzard that never subsided

Something was pushing me to go there. Something that I didn't understand. Some mysterious force. Some incomprehensible power. My struggled against my heart. It warned and begged my heart to hold back those inconsequential steps but I still kept moving. For a second I did withdraw my footsteps but then again I mustered up some courage and I began my journey. Yes, it was for the first time since the migration I decided to visit my homeland, the Heaven on the Earth, Kashmir.
I wanted to go there alone so I had no one to accompany me. My parents protested and asked me to take someone along with me but I denied. I wanted to be alone, alone in the lap of my motherland. I wanted to talk to the wailing valley, the broken walls, the lamenting fields, the snow-covered roofs in solitude. I wanted to be there all by myself.
The next morning I started off with 'the journey' I had been longing to undertake since quite a while. After a tiresome journey of about 10 hours we crossed the BANIHAL tunnel (Banihal is kashmiri for Blizzard ), also known as The Jawahar Tunnel. I looked outside my window and I couldn't take my eyes off the beautiful Pir Panjal ranges, the green mountains, the fields, the cold breeze that ran through my hairs. The enchanting fragrance of the soil was enough for me to know that I was home, my real home.
I reached Anantnag, the city where my parents had met 24 years ago, the city my grandparents had spent 50 years of their life , the place talking about which still make my grandmom's eyes wet.
I started recalling all the stories I had grown up listening to. Kashmir was beautiful indeed. I was awestruck.
Ad mist all the bewitching beauty of Kashmir, I noticed something missing. It wasn't the same as before.
The laughter was gone. The smiles no longer existed on the faces. The warmth had ceased to exist. All I could see was skeptical gazes or sad faces. The curfew was still being imposed in some areas. Apparently the place never recovered. Controlling these overwhelming emotions I drove to the house my family owned. I stepped down from the car only to see that the place was burnt down to shatters. A chill ran down my spine. My breath started getting deeper, steps slower and I felt cold. Oh so cold!
I looked around and I could hear people wail over the dead bodies of their loved ones, the cries of the women who were raped, the screams of children. I could see blood all around. I could see the woman suicide, jumping into the well to save their honor. I could hear mourns of the children left orphaned. I could see people leaving their houses feeling helpless. I could hear the people assuring each other that they would return one day to their places. I fell down on my knees and I cried. I cried thinking about the night everyone had to leave this place, the suffering and struggle that followed this migration, the unarmed people who were murdered, the people who never recovered back, the people who still live in migrant camps. I stood up and with shivering legs I hurried back towards my car. The void in my heart had just got bigger.

It has been 23 years of exile but deep down something still assures me that one fine day the world will realize that Kashmiri Pandits have indeed returned back to Kashmir.

That fraction of a second!

She was nervous,her hand were shivering,she ordered a Margarita, she carelessly pushed her hair on to the left side of her shoulder, the fringes covered her restless eyes.. She looked at him through the thick strands of her wavy black hair... His eyes were intense, fixed in her direction.. She was aware of the fact that he was staring at her.. every moment in their was getting heavier.. She took a sip of her drink, her throat burnt.. His sharp eyes were more than she could take.. She decided to leave the bar.. She grabbed her bag, and slung it carelessly  across her shoulder and walked away.. His eyes were still fixed on her.. watching her steps moving away .. She came out of the pub and lit the cigarette and puffed it once when suddenly someone pulled her from behind.. She knew it was him.
She pushed him away. He grabbed her from her waist. She struggled but all in vain. He pulled her closer, lifted his hand and took off her woolen muffler that was hiding her lips. His piercing eyes made her feel weak in her knees. She wanted to give in. Her heart throbbed faster and faster. Deep down she knew how much she wanted him, but she let her brain make the decision. He finally said he had been meaning to say since past two months. He asked for one last chance to make up to that one night she walked on him cheating with her friend. 
She gazed into his eyes and firmly denied, called a cab and moved on. A tear rolled down her cheek. This tear was a mixture of both strength and weakness. She had moved on, in that fraction of second, she was free of all the chains, all the shackles.

One day!

When I woke up today my eyes were full because I knew what I had lost.. I knew a dream had died somewhat.. I was angry. Angry with myself. I wanted to slam doors, shout, scream, break the glasses, blame myself, blame God, I wanted to go out , get drenched so as to wash these emotions away. There were about a billions of emotions.. anger, sad, frustration, hurt, I was so angry that if somebody were to touch me they would have burned of my wrath. I wanted to get out of my bed, but my legs were stiff.. I couldn't breathe, I wanted to not to cry but the tears rolled down my cheek.. I dragged my self out from the bed.. I struggled to find the bottle of water.. I drank one sip.. I was thirsty.. very thirsty.. I wanted to drink more.. But i couldn't.. It was yet another conflicting situation.. Tired of trying.. I smashed the bottle against the wall.. spilling the water all around.. I walked towards my laptop.. I started writing.. but I couldn't find words.. I Knew things were not going to be the same.... I could hear the sound of my heart break..